WASH CALORIES AWAY WITH LAUGHTER

With so much unhappiness in the world why should one laugh? I was told if I could count calories, every time I laughed it would consist of 40 calories. So that means if I laugh 10 times that would be 400 calories or equal to a gigantic dish of caramel ice cream. That seems like a ticket to happiness. This is important to me because gaining weight is a real issue in my life. So now I’ve been on a diet for three days and so far I have gained three pounds. What’s up with that?? I should have laughed about that and used up some calories, but instead I went to the refrigerator and ate a cold ice coconut bar to relieve the stress of the weight gain. This morning I woke up to the reflection in the mirror of a large red bozo nose. This could only be my punishment for ingesting too much sugar. Still I know I must laugh because after all laughing increases the endorphins and helps the immune system. Then I can lose weight. But how can you laugh at a big bozo nose staring back at you in the mirror? I decided to just ignore it and concentrate on laughing and on losing weight. When my friend called me I told her about laughing and burning calories. She got angry with me and told me she was not overweight and hung up on me. When the phone rang again, I thought it was Jane calling back, but it was my other friend Linda. I told her about my new laughing diet and she said she should try it or she would never fit into her new shorts before the fourth of July.

Today my husband got annoyed with me. He said, “Why are you laughing all the time when nothing seems to be funny?” So I decided to give him relief and went shopping for groceries for dinner. When I arrived at the store, they had just put out fresh loaves of French bread on a nearby rack. I knew I couldn’t buy it, but I thought if I bought it for my husband maybe he wouldn’t be so angry about all my laughing. Then in checking out of the food lane, I told the checker “I hope I can get home before I open the French bread and eat it.” She said well you could have just stood by it and smelled it. I told her I used to do that when I went shopping with my first husband in the bakery section. He would scream “ what I are you doing?” I told him I was sniffing and he said, “STOP IT, YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME”. She laughed. I then told her about the laughing diet. Forty calories a laugh, “wow I am going to be laughing all the time”, she said. “Yes, I said, as I left the store you will be so skinny the next time I see you”.